HAVE FAITH

NYC Short Story Challenge 2014

Genre: Fairy tale; Character: Hunter; Subject: Homeless; 2500 words 

There’s no forest anymore.

I wake each morning and pray that it’ll return. Even a blade of grass would be a miracle, but when I pray I don’t just ask for grass. I ask for everything. My cabin, animals, the river, the trees, unicorns, Alice.

Have faith, I tell myself. Be strong and courageous. The Empress hears your prayers. Someday the world will be made right. That’s what she promised long ago. She’s good for it.

But, for now, I must wander.

The sun hangs pale and red, and I know it will soon disappear behind the mountains. My beard has grown long. The cold has cracked my face and hands so deeply that they will never recover. I must look like something less than a man. A primordial creature freshly risen from the landscape. I’m tired, though, and I want to lie down and close my eyes and blend into the rocks until I become part of them.

But I can’t. Not yet. The fairy still hovers in the air before me. She’s small and beautiful, as Alice was once. Her hair is silver like strands of the moon, and her wings sparkle in a way that reminds me of water clinging to a spider web in the first light of morning. If she has a name, I do not know it. If she has a voice, my ears are too profane to hear. I want to clutch her to my chest and feel her breath and share in whatever joy she holds, but she’s always out of reach. Ever since the forest was destroyed, she’s been with me, leading me, though I don’t know where.

It doesn’t matter. 

As long as there’s still magic in this world, I’ll follow it.

***

The summer was ending. The days grew short, and the leaves were beginning to change. At night the wind bit hard with newfound confidence. Some swans had already flown south, and soon other creatures would follow. I knew time was running out.

            I rested my chin on the top of my bow and waited, my eyes never leaving the pomegranate tree. I’d cleared a spot for myself near a large oak and hid within foliage. It was early afternoon. I’d left home hours ago, and I was beginning to worry about Alice. She’d never been alone this long before. She wanted to come with me today, but I just couldn’t let her.

Not for something like this.

            Summer had not been fruitful. I’d either killed too many deer last year or this year they’d gotten more clever. Whatever the reason, if I didn’t at least double my gold before the first snowfall we’d be in danger of going hungry this winter. I could last days or even weeks without food, but I wouldn’t let Alice suffer.

            On many nights I’d sat in the cabin, watching Alice sleep by the light of the fire. I wept softly so as not to wake her. With all my might, I’d cried out to the Empress and begged for a sign, some form of salvation. I know she sees and hears everything, but sometimes she doesn’t speak back. Have faith, I said.

            Then just two nights ago, there came a knock at our door. It was late and the fire burned low. I looked over at Alice, but she didn’t stir. I wondered if I’d dreamt it. I lay awake in bed, eyes opened wide, waiting for something to happen. Soon the knock came again, more forceful than before. I reached for my ax and crept to the door. The floor felt cold on my bare feet, a reminder that winter would soon be here. I cracked open the door and saw a hooded figure standing on my porch.

            “Who are you?” I whispered.

            “Just a traveler in need of a bed and a warm meal,” came the reply.

            “Show yourself,” I said.

            The figure lowered its hood, revealing a face so old and wrinkled that I couldn’t tell if it belonged to a man or a woman, the living or the dead. “I’m in need of a bed and a warm meal,” it said again.

            I glanced back inside. Alice looked so pale and beautiful. I can’t explain it but in that moment I felt that if she saw this creature a part of her would break that could never be fixed again.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I am a poor huntsman, and I have neither to offer.”

The creature let forth a terrible hiss.

“Wait, wait,” I stammered. “You’re welcome to sleep on my porch. And I’ll fetch you a piece of bread.”

I closed the door and found the hardest loaf in my cupboard. When I opened it again, the figure was standing right where I’d left it, its face expressionless.

“Here,” I said. “Take this.”

The creature snatched the bread from my hand and devoured the loaf in a single bite. It stared long and hard at me before speaking again.

“Your generosity will be rewarded, huntsman. When you said you are poor, you spoke truly. That may soon change. If you follow the river east, you will come across a tree that bears fresh pomegranates. The unicorns of the North come to feed in the first days of autumn, when the fruit is ripe. A unicorn’s horn has many powers, both great and terrible. If you sell one in town, you will have so much gold that you will never have to hunt again.”

“I’ve followed the river east a thousand times, and I’ve never come across such a tree.”

“Have faith,” the creature said. “But also be warned. The death of a unicorn is no small thing. The world will be changed as a result. Whether for better or for worse, I cannot say.”

“I am not the sort of man who would kill a unicorn,” I said.

“All men are the sort who would kill unicorns,” it told me.

I closed the door and turned back inside. I didn’t sleep. Instead I sat near the fire and held my bow and felt ashamed of being alive. When morning came, I looked outside and the creature was gone.

I wondered what the Empress meant by all of this. What would she have me do? I took Alice with me that morning to hunt for deer and we searched thickets and pastures, copses and knolls, but there was not an animal to be seen. By sunset, I’d given up, and we returned to our cabin, our hands empty.

After dinner, Alice asked me what the deer feel when they’re shot. I told her I didn’t know for sure, but they die quickly and if they’re in pain it doesn’t last long. She seemed satisfied and kissed me goodnight and crawled into bed. “If I have to die someday,” she said, “I hope it’s fast like the deer so that I don’t even know it’s happening.”

I took a deep breath and was overwhelmed by the forest.

I knew what I must do.

***

A lone bird rises. I loose an arrow and it falls.

Whatever life exists in this aftermath, I can’t understand or explain. I pluck the feathers. Beads of blood drip from its flesh. I take my axe and sever the head from the body. My teeth bite into the breast until they feel bone. I swallow and gain another hour to separate me from death. 

The fairy still sparkles in the distance.

Have faith, I tell myself. Keep walking.

***

            The sun hadn’t set yet but the light in the forest was already growing thick and tired. I let the bow dig into my chin as I tried to stay awake. The wind blew cool against my face. I shut my eyes, but it couldn’t have been for more than a few seconds before I heard a noise and opened them and saw it standing before me.

The unicorn.

            I’d never seen a creature more beautiful. Its mane was silver like strands of the moon, and its skin sparkled in a way that reminded me of water clinging to a spider web in the first light of morning. Its horn spiraled around and around like a tower climbing toward the Empress herself. I nearly dropped my bow and ran.

            But then I remembered Alice. I pictured her thin frame shrinking more and more as she watched her father turn into a skeleton before her eyes. I heard her sobs and felt my strength fail me as I tried to brush away her tears. Empress, no.

            I took an arrow from the quiver and raised my bow. The beast was biting fruit from the tree and their red juices ran down its neck. I aimed. I fired. I struck.

The unicorn didn’t flinch. Instead it stared at the arrow and watched as its silver blood trickled down its breast. I’d never seen a creature look so sad, so disappointed. It was as if it had just learned that the entire world is a lie. It lifted its head and looked directly at me and spoke.

“Is this your doing, man?”

I trembled from behind the leaves of the oak.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“Man, what you have done is no small thing. It will have consequences greater than you can fathom.”

The creature bit down on the arrow and pulled it from its breast. The blood gushed freely now, painting the ground at the foot of the tree. Suddenly the unicorn stood on its hind legs and snapped back its head, flinging the arrow into the sky. I watched it soar higher and higher until I lost it in the clouds. The unicorn knelt down and looked at me again.

“Man, take what you came for.”

“No,” I said, on the verge of tears. “I don’t want it anymore.”

“Man, what’s done is done. Claim your prize.”

It closed its eyes and lowered its head. I inched forward, expecting it to strike, but it didn’t move. I reached for the horn and gripped it tight and swung my ax toward the top of the muzzle. In that moment I saw flashes of the entire history of the world. Kings and queens, nations and peoples, fields and mountains, deserts and forests. All creation and destruction since time began was revealed to me.

I opened my satchel and placed the horn inside. The unicorn was no longer breathing. I felt that I should bury it or at least take water from the stream to wash the blood from its snout and breast, but I was too ashamed to touch it now. I turned and followed the river west toward home.

Suddenly the woods were alive.

The first deer ran past me so quickly that I almost missed it. As I saw the next two I instinctively reached for my bow but when my hands wrapped around the cool wood, I felt disgusted and let them pass. A wolf soon followed, then a boar, then another wolf. I smelled something in the forest that I couldn’t quite place. I knew it was familiar, yes, but it was also wrong, like it didn’t belong there. Dozens of birds surged from the trees, disorganized and screaming in terror. Then, just beyond them, I saw the column of smoke rising.

I began to run.

***

           

Pale wanderer, do you know who I am? What I’ve done? Why do you lead me and give me hope unless it’s part of your torture? I was a good man once. I spoke the truth and kept my promises. Oh, fairy. The last light of the sun makes you look like you’re ablaze.

Empress, save me.

***

I still don’t know how I escaped the fires. The forest burned all around me but the path ahead was always clear. As I grew closer to home, the landscape changed from green to black. The fires soon disappeared and were replaced with small streams of smoke lifting from piles of ash.

I reached the bend in the river where my cabin once stood but there was no cabin anymore, no river, just the stones of my hearth. I called for Alice but heard nothing. I screamed her name again and again as I rummaged through the soot looking for a sign of life. I screamed until my throat grew sore and my voice sounded like that of a dying animal.

            Then I saw something still burning. I recognized it immediately, but it wasn’t Alice. It was long and thin and rose straight up out of the ash. My arrow. The head, the shaft, and the fletchings were all ablaze, and through the flames I could make out traces of silver that painted the wood. I gasped for breath and fell to my knees and called out to the Empress. How could her heart not break?

            After a long time, when the tears would no longer come, I felt a tug at my waist. My satchel was moving. I loosened the latch and looked inside. There was no sign of the unicorn’s horn, but in its place was something else.

            The fairy.

            I reached in to hold it but before I could it flew out and hovered in the air before me. It watched me for a while then turned to leave.

            “Wait,” I croaked. “Please wait.”

            It stopped. As I climbed to my feet, it began to fly away again. I picked up my bow and followed.

***

Alice.

I don’t know where children go when they die. Life is full of mystery. I hope it’s to a place with kindness and laughter, a place where there’s nothing to fear and each child knows that he or she is safe.

Consider all the beauty in the world. Every bit of it gets taken away. When it returns, it’s shaped in a form that I don’t understand. It’s beautiful in a new way, a way that I can’t compare to the old without being overcome with guilt. I’d need a thousand different hearts in my body just to make sense of it all.  

I loved watching Alice try to catch fish in the stream. They’d slip through her tiny fingers and she’d squeal with laughter. She smelled so strongly of the forest that all the water in the world couldn’t wash the scent away. She made me so very, very happy.

Now I follow the fairy in this broken land. I pray to the Empress. She hears me because she promised she would. Every time my arrow sings it reminds me of the past, the life and death of it. At night, I dream of the trees and of the river and of Alice. When I open my eyes each morning, I expect to see the entire forest, fully grown and made perfect. But it’s never there. Have faith, I tell myself. Even a blade of grass is a miracle.

I will find my home again.